The Etiquette Of Punctuality

Why Punctuality Matters

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 
– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Though punctuality expectations vary by country and even region, in modern Western etiquette punctuality shows respect: both self-respect and respect for others. Of course, emergencies and unforeseen circumstances can justify tardiness, as some factors affecting our arrival are beyond our control. However, a habitual or intentional disregard of time reflects a lack of respect for others, as well as a deficiency in self-discipline and self-awareness.

There is a strong link between punctuality and trust, reliability, and professionalism. We feel confident in people who follow through with their commitments and are considerate of our time. Conversely, habitual lateness can affect our relationships and even our reputation. To keep a person waiting is conveying to them that our time is more important than theirs. 

Practicing the etiquette of punctuality means that we honor ourselves, others, our commitments, and the event or engagement that we are involved in or attending. Punctuality matters because time is one of the most important gifts we have been given, and we must steward it well.

What Being On Time Means

True punctuality is arriving early enough to be fully prepared and settled by the agreed-upon start time. With this, it’s important to understand context. In some situations, punctuality means arriving early, other times it means arriving at precisely the stated time, and it can even mean arriving a few minutes late (more on this at the end of the post). This is where social awareness and discernment come into play: our ability to recognize the nature of the occasion, the role we play in it, and the social expectations involved.

How To Practice Punctuality

Timeliness is something many of us can improve on. Here are some helpful guidelines to practice the etiquette of punctuality:

• The first is to understand and take ownership of your own time-management habits. Are you very late? A few minutes late? Late due to family members and their disorganization? Reflect and acknowledge how you view your time.
• Choose to be on time. This one seems obvious, but really making a conscious decision to be mindful of time, especially out of respect for God, ourselves, and others, makes a huge impact on the decisions we make.
• Plan backward from the start time. Always look up the route, distance, and time it takes to get to the location of where you need to be prior to going. When you calculate the time it will take to commute, give yourself a time buffer and take note if you are going to be traveling to the location during high traffic times. For example, if you’re looking up the route at 10pm but you will be driving to the location the next morning at 8am, make sure you account for rush hour and give yourself enough time. Multiple map apps will allow you to project traffic conditions based on when you want to leave or when you want to arrive.
• Prepare all the items you need, the night before: iron/steam your clothes, lay them out, prepare any food, snacks, water bottles, etc.
• Have a designated place in your home for your handbag, wallet, and keys so as not to frantically search for them prior to leaving.
• Set alarms and reminders, don’t hit snooze!
• If you have a family, be sure to communicate the schedule and ask if they need anything prepared or help preparing it.
• Teach family members the importance of being on time and how punctuality is a sign of self-respect and respect for others.

When To Be Early

Some situations and occasions mean that being early is being on time. When planning your arrival time, consider the time needed to locate the venue, find and take your seat, or freshen up before the event begins. For the following examples, it is appropriate to arrive five to ten minutes early, and in some situations, up to fifteen minutes – using sound judgement and awareness of the occasion and setting.

• Appointments
• Business engagements
• Work
• Virtual meetings
• Meeting family, friends, or colleagues out at a location
• Church services and ceremonies: weddings, funerals, etc
• School
• Events where setup and check-in is expected
• Events where large crowds may delay entry

What To Do When You Are Late

Following proper etiquette when arriving late can help mitigate the negative effects that may result from our tardiness. Here’s what to do if you are late:

• Notify the person as soon as possible with a brief, clear message, and expected arrival time
• Apologize concisely and sincerely, without excuses 
• Minimize disruption when you arrive
• Follow up if necessary, if your lateness caused inconvenience or interruption

When Being Late Is Being On Time

There are a handful of occasions when being a few minutes late (up to ten minutes) is appropriate. Certain social events, such as social gatherings, where arriving early or precisely at the stated time would be awkward or difficult on the host (i.e. everyone arriving at the same time), calls for us to arrive a few minutes late. Again, the key is to consider the type of event, the expectations of the host, and the cultural and social norms – which can even differ between individual family cultures.

Time Well Spent

At the heart of the etiquette of punctuality is our own dignity and the dignity of those around us. To determine the “best time” for a situation, we must use our social awareness and discernment. Punctuality shows a proper response – respect and consideration – for others and events. How we manage our time communicates who and what we value. May we always use our time wisely and considerately.