The Etiquette of New Beginnings

A New Year

Happy New Year! 2025 was one of the best years of my life (I share the highlights here!) and it was a little bittersweet to bid farewell to it. Yet I know that when we offer our year to Christ, as I do each year, amazing things happen. I am so excited to see what is in store these next twelve months.

Etiquette is everywhere, and especially so as we plan and make goals for the new year. I wanted to share with you the etiquette of new beginnings, and why keeping manners and etiquette at the forefront of our hearts and minds as we set goals is essential.

Etiquette Is A Pathway To Virtue

My mission as an etiquette instructor is to teach others the intrinsic unity between etiquette and virtue – that etiquette is a pathway to grow in virtue. Etiquette, which is the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group, honors the past, the present, and the future – all while honoring cultures and traditions. 

At the heart of etiquette is the human person. The very term implies a communal aspect. We aren’t polite for the sake of politeness – we are polite to show charity and good will to our neighbor. The root word of polite comes from the Latin, “to polish.” When we polish something we see its full radiance – its full beauty. We wipe away the dust and the grime. So too when we practice polite behavior – we reveal the true beauty of our own heart by practicing virtue and we also help the other shine in full radiance – encouraging them to grow in virtue, too.

The Goal of Etiquette

The entire goal of practicing etiquette should be to live a virtuous life. A virtuous life leads to true happiness, sanctity, holiness, and joy. A virtuous life benefits and gifts both ourselves and others.

The Catechism tells us that a virtue is “a habitual and firm disposition to do the good.” (CCC 1803) In this definition we see how united etiquette is to virtue. Virtue, the Catechism continues, “allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.” Virtue, then, is the habitual and firm disposition to do the good.

A New Beginning

How does this all tie into new beginnings? A quote by G.K. Chesterton answers this powerfully, “The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.”

Each New Year is an opportunity to strive to “put on the new nature, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:24) We should have the end goal of holiness and sanctity at the heart of all the goals and resolutions we make.

The Etiquette Of New Beginnings

•  Let your “yes” mean “yes” and your “no” mean “no” in the goals you set. This takes discipline, and the fruit of that discipline is greater trust in yourself, others, and God. When we are faithful to the goals we set we discover that people truly are trustworthy. This is especially beneficial if anyone has broken trust with you or you struggle with low confidence, or if you question God’s goodness.
•  With this, be prudent with the goals you set. If you miss a day, persevere! Don’t give up completely.
• Ask those closest to you one way you can grow this new year. Take time to discern if this is an area that God is calling you to grow in, too.
• Practice the etiquette of clear communication: both with yourself as you compile our goals (the clearer and more concrete your goals, the more likely we are to accomplish them) and others. If any of your resolutions and goals will affect others: your family, your friends, schedules, etc – it is courteous to clearly explain it to them.
• Take time to reflect on one area of your life you can grow in, an area that can benefit not just yourself but those around you. For example, can you grow in punctuality, grooming, body language, patience, tone of voice, or hospitality? These are areas of etiquette that, when refined, can greatly improve your life and other lives, too.

I would love to hear your goals for the new year! Some of mine include: continuing to pray daily with Mike, focusing on my health through walking and eating anti-inflammatory meals at least three times a week, and doing more in-person etiquette lessons. Whatever your goals are, may this be the best year yet!