How To Pray With Your Spouse

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
– Matthew 18:20

When I shared that my husband and I prayed Morning Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours together each day during Advent, my inbox began to fill. So many messages came into my DMs from people who said they longed to pray with their spouse, but felt shy, awkward, or even embarrassed to do so.

Prayer is intimate. It requires humility. It asks us to reveal our hearts- not just to God, but to one another. And yet, prayer is not optional in the Christian life. It is essential. And if you are married, it is essential to pray with your spouse.

Prayer Is Always Possible and Always Necessary

We are all called to take time out of our day to pray: to converse with our God, our first Love. The Catechism teaches us that prayer leads us to love:

This love opens our hearts to three enlightening and life-giving facts of faith about prayer: it is always possible to pray, prayer is a vital necessity, and prayer and Christian life are inseparable. (CCC 2742–2745)

When we pray, we unite our hearts to God and we lead others to Him. If Christ has called you into the Sacrament of Marriage, He desires to be at the very center of it. Prayer is how we invite Him there. The fruit of prayer is always holy and authentic love.

The Goal of Marriage Is Salvation

Marriage is not merely about companionship or happiness, though those are gifts. The ultimate goal of marriage is salvation. Marriage is a vocation in which one loves another fully, completely, and without restraint. To love is to will the good of the beloved. And we will the greatest good for our spouses when we desire heaven for them.

In marriage, we hope for salvation through:

• prayer
• sacrifice
• mercy
• love
• and the continual widening of our hearts

There is no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for another.

Prayer and the Daily Dying to Self

Marriage is a continual death to self and selfishness. Praying with your husband or wife opens a window into their soul: their desires, needs, hurts, fears, and joys. 

Through prayer, we come to understand our spouse more deeply. And in understanding, we are better able to serve them and help them on the path to heaven. 

Even the word family reminds us of this call. It comes from the Latin famulus, meaning servant.

Even When Life Is Busy, Prayer Is Essential

Life is full, and often loud. Work deadlines, young children, sleepless nights, constant distractions, and the weight of daily responsibilities can make shared prayer feel difficult or even unrealistic. But it is precisely in these seasons that prayer becomes most essential.

Praying with your spouse does require sacrifice. It may mean setting aside comfort, convenience, or rest. It may feel imperfect, distracted, or brief. But prayer with your spouse does not need to be long, it simply needs to happen.

When we choose prayer in the midst of busy days, we are making a powerful declaration: God comes first. And that choice bears fruit. Even a few moments of prayer can anchor your marriage in grace, unite your hearts, and strengthen you for the day ahead. When time together is limited, shared prayer becomes not optional, but vital, to the spiritual health of your marriage.

What Praying Together Has Done for Our Marriage

Since my husband and I began praying together daily, the fruit has been incredible:

We have more joy, there is more peace in our home. we feel- and truly are- closer and more connected, and our days have become ordered. We often find ourselves saying: this is the best part of our day.

It doesn’t “fix” everything. But it changes everything. And it touches every aspect of our life.

The Church tells us why. In marriage, Christ Himself dwells with husband and wife, giving them the grace to carry the cross, to rise again after falling, to forgive one another, and to love with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love (CCC 1642).

Prayer is how we open ourselves to that grace.

Practical Ways To Pray With Your Spouse

If you are unsure where to begin, start simply. Choose one or two of these and allow your prayer life together to grow naturally. Be sure you set a specific time to pray. What helps us is I ask my husband to gently wake me up at a certain time to pray together for ten-fifteen minutes. And do not give up: if you miss that time, communicate with one another a “plan b (c, or d!)” time that you will pray together that day.

1. Offer a Morning Prayer Together

This is one of our favorites and a beautiful way to consecrate the day before it begins. Praying this together sets the tone for everything that follows:

O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer You my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day
for all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart,
in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world,
for the salvation of souls, the reparation of sins,
the reunion of all Christians,
and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father this month.
Amen.

2. Share Prayer Intentions and Pray the Our Father

Take a moment to vocalize the intentions each of you is carrying. This is a profound window into your spouse’s heart: their hopes, anxieties, and desires.

After sharing, offer those intentions to Our Lord together by praying the Our Father.

3. Pray the Rosary Together

The Rosary is a powerful prayer for marriage and family life. Even one decade prayed together invites Our Lady into your home and marriage. Here is a link to learn how to pray (with great visuals!).

4. Sing Praise Together

If you or your spouse are musicians, singing praise together can be a beautiful form of prayer. Sacred music lifts the heart to God and unites souls in prayer, even in moments when spoken prayer feels difficult.

5. Pray the Liturgy of the Hours

The Liturgy of the Hours is the official prayer of the Church, sanctifying the day through Scripture and psalms. Morning Prayer or Night Prayer are wonderful places to start.

The iBreviary app is an excellent and accessible way to begin, especially before investing in a physical set, as the new edition of the Liturgy of the Hours is being released this year. (You can join the waitlist for the new set with me, HERE.) 

6. Read the Gospels Together

Choose a Gospel and read a short passage aloud. Sit quietly with it, or share one word or phrase that stood out. Allow Christ to speak directly into your marriage through His Word.

7. Pray a Novena Together

Praying a novena together builds perseverance and shared hope. Choose one intention and walk through it side by side.

Some favorites to pray as a couple include novenas to:

• Saint Joseph
• Our Lady of Lourdes
• The Sacred Heart of Jesus
• Saint Therese of Lisieux
• Saint Padre Pio

8. Pray for Your Children Together

Praying for your children- whether aloud or silently- unites you deeply as parents. Offer their needs, futures, vocations, and protection to the Lord together.

9. Attend Daily Mass Together (Even Once a Week)

If possible, attend Daily Mass together- even once a week (in addition to Sundays!). The grace of the Eucharist strengthens marriage in profound ways.

​​10. Ask Your Husband for a Blessing

Ask your husband to bless you with holy water and pray over you. This is a beautiful expression of his role as spiritual leader and a powerful moment of humility and trust.

11. Pray Night Prayer Together

End the day by thanking God, taking a minute or two to make an examination of conscience reflecting upon your day, asking forgiveness, and placing your marriage and family in His hands before sleep.

A Final Word of Encouragement

Praying with your spouse will not always feel easy. There will be seasons of exhaustion, distraction, and busyness: days filled with work, young children, sleepless nights, or heavy hearts. But these are not reasons to avoid prayer; they are the very reasons prayer is essential.

Marriage is a vocation ordered toward holiness and salvation, and God never asks husband and wife to walk that path alone. When you choose to pray together, even briefly, you are inviting Christ into the center of your marriage and relying on grace rather than your own strength.

Prayer does not need to be perfect or lengthy; it simply needs to be faithful. Begin where you are. Begin imperfectly. Begin again when you fall away. God is patient and generous with His grace. When husband and wife gather in His name, Christ is truly present, and His presence has the power to transform your marriage.